We live our lives thinking one day it will all end, nicely and peacefully. However, death is just like life. It’s not easy or simple and never quite goes like you thought it would.
My grandmother is currently in hospice. She is dying.
My grandmother is the salt of the earth and one strong, amazing and classy lady. She has endured a lot in her life, and always came through, no matter the situation. She took everything in stride always with a good thought and a kind word.
While my grandfather stationed in Korea during the war, my grandmother gave birth to a stillborn baby. She endured the pain and depression of losing a child without her husband at her side. Due to communication being very slowly during that time, it was weeks before my grandfather was notified and able to come home.
She buried her firstborn child by herself at 19.That’s an amazing amount of strength for someone so very young.
Now at 93, her body is still hanging on while her spirit wants to let go. She’s ready to die.
I always envisioned my grandmother quietly passing away during the night. I didn’t think for a second that she would be going through this.
She’s slowly withering away and her pain in intense. She has moments of lucidity but her brain and memories are gone. She’s not the same woman I love, honor and respect so much. The version of herself that we know and love has already passed away.
Sometimes I find myself wondering, has God forgot about her? Why after a lifetime of struggles to overcome that she is still continuing to struggle?
I remember something that a good friend told me years ago, our life is all about the journey, not the destination. Those that have to face adversity and crisis, have a really cool story to tell and they acquire real wisdom from their life experiences.
In death, I believe that it is not the person who is dying learns from it but those that are indirectly affected by it. It teaches us to value what we have and to live our lives to the fullest, no regrets.As usual, my grandmother teaching me another life lesson.