We're all one big family!
Yesterday I was catching up on the goings-on of my friends and family on Facebook. A friend had posted a link to a blog post that got my friend’s dander up and it wasn’t pretty. The blog post was written by an fellow Army wife , whose active duty soldier-husband was living in Vermont doing recruiter duty. (I would love to link to the post but I don’t want to give her any more traffic to her site )
Basically , the blog post went on to say that National Guardsman weren’t “real” soldiers and in short their wives weren’t real Army wives. She also included several things that ticked her off about that same group of people. Her tone was accusatory, class-less and just down right condescending. She even got her husband to come to her defense and backed up her statements. Something he should have stayed out off, in my opinion.
For those that don’t know — I come from a long line of family members that had several in the military in one capacity or another. I’m very proud of my husband’s service and my role as a military wife. I took that role very seriously then and now. Even though we’re not a military family any longer , we are still loyal to our military family. When this blogger – let’s call her AirborneWife , attacks one of our Army sisters, she’s attacking me. As one of our Bravo Tango shirts says — every Army wife is part of the Army Wife Sisterhood.
I know many National Guard families and they are an amazing group. They are still part of the Army , even if they are weekend warriors. They deploy like Big Army does , These families sacrifice like all our military families. Sometimes, I think at times their lives are more difficult then active duty. Many of the National Guard families don’t live near a military installation and when they need something its not readily available to them. The other issue is when their soldier is deployed, they may not have the same supportive community as their active duty counterparts. National Guard soldiers and their families are NOT the red-headed stepchildren of the Army. We are one big family and we shouldn’t be attacking each other but supporting each other.
I’m not sure where AirborneWife got her “information”, but she is grossly mistaken. According to her blog, she’s a newlywed, pregnant and she doesn’t live on post. I’m fairly confident that she has no idea of several new Army wife classes and programs that could have prevented something like this. I’m 100% if there was a Senior Spouse around to set her straight and give her the information she needs, that she wouldn’t be in this position. I’m also certain that any Senior Spouse would also politely point out that one of the name taps on ALL ACU’s (whether active duty or National Guard ) says U.S. ARMY!
I know and fully understand that “Airborne Wife’s blog is hers and she can write whatever she chooses. I fully support her right to write what she wants and express her opinions freely. At the time same, she needs to be somewhat truthful in what she is spouting off about, especially if it to be used as a FACT and not OPINION.
UPDATE – Thanks to several calls and emails to the DOD Public Affairs office about the content of her blog post, her initial post/link/ and comments were all deleted. I hope someone from this soldier’s chain of command has spoken to the both of them and gave them a proper education on Active Duty vs. National Guard/Reserves .
Blogs are fun to have and its a great way to deal with some truly -trying times , especially in the military lifestyle. You also need to accept the responsibility that comes with it too. However like I always tell my children .. just because you CAN do something , doesn’t necessarily mean you SHOULD.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I find it interesting that she begins her lengthy rant with a defensive statement. I have a feeling she may have expressed some of these opinions before, and got a negative response. Gotta put up the safety shield.
I agree that Vermont does not have a strong active duty military presence. Not a doubt in my mind that most military in Vermont are in the National Guard. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. People want to serve their country, but have a more stable home life. No matter if a soldier is active duty or National Guard, he or she deserves respect for serving their country. When you’re in a war zone, does it really matter if your comrade is career active duty or a “weekend warrior”? We all bleed the same. War doesn’t discriminate based on rank, race, branch of military, or active duty status.
The US Army, active duty or National Guard, is a unit, a brotherhood, a family. This bond extends across the US, across the oceans, around the world, and across generations.
I was upset about the PTSD comments…they hit just a little too close to home for me. I pray she and her soldier never, ever have to deal with PTSD. My first husband was active duty Army. He was deployed for a year, toward the beginning of the war, when things were still REALLY bad. There was a stretch of over 3 months that we didn’t hear from him. Things seemed fine when he came home. Four years later, after he became abusive, he was diagnosed with severe delayed PTSD. In the four years between deployment and diagnosis, he showed very few signs of it. Just because the blogger’s husband seems fine now, does not mean he’s immune to it, and does not make him better than a soldier who is battling it.
I’d like to directly quote her here: “Part of YOUR job as a spouse is to be a direct reflection of him. That means getting your facts straight and getting educated.” This is true, to a point. I married a soldier, and yes, I agree that a military spouse should reflect positivley on their soldier/airman/sailor/marine/coastie/reservist. That being said, I saw my job as a miltary spouse to be of a more supportive nature. Not trying to make him look good, but to be emotionally supportive, a positive reinforcement for my hero.
Here’s a little more information from the National Guard about the National Guard.
http://www.arng.army.mil/ABOUTUS/Pages/default.aspx
Respecting higher ranking soldiers, enlisted or officers, is just common sense. Good manners are a good idea, no matter what.
My dad was active duty Air Force before I was born, then went into the reserves so we could have a “normal civilian life”, and he could still serve his country. It didn’t make him any less of a man, any less of an airman, any less patriotic. He served his 25 years, and retired honorably. I think the part that upset me the most is that she was degrading the National Guardsmen and their families. That’s like degrading the cook in the chow hall. No matter what your opinion of the job is, people need to eat. Everyone in the military, regardless of branch, gender, age, race, religion, or MOS…everyone is an important and essential part of the whole.
This woman has only been “married to the Army” for about 6 months. Her man is stationed out in the sticks in VT, not at an active duty base. Living on an Army post is like living in a different world. She hasn’t experienced that side of it yet, or the single parenting while her man is deployed. The “don’t wear your husband’s uniform for pictures” thing really got under my skin, too. I agree, you shouldn’t wear your husband’s uniform. You want to wear one? Go enlist. But then she not only wore the uniform for a pregnancy photo shoot, but further disrespected it by adding a pink scarf to it.
(Sorry, I’m not a big fan of double standards.)
I pray that with experience, she’ll start to understand things better. Her soldier should not just be a glorified GI Joe doll. He is a protector of our flag, our country, our freedom.
I don’t want to sound like I think I know it all…I definitely don’t. I do know this: marrying someone in the military is, without a doubt, a personal sacrifice. You have to understand that his/her first obligation is to the USA.
Agreed, she should have kept that opinion to herself!
Tammy, well said. We appreciate all of the sacrifices all our members of the armed forces and their spouses and families make for us.
Ok so I agree that this girl was wrong. Like very wrong, but just because she is in Vermont should make no difference. Her husband could be stationed anywhere in the U.S. and I think she would have done the same thing. She is class-less. I am a military wife myself. My husband served four good years with the Marines and is now a Vermont Army National Guardsman. There is something as a Marine Wife from Jacksonville NC that I did not know. Vermont is such a small state where most military is Army National Guard, but that does not mean anything.
I respect every branch of the military. The Soldiers, Sailors, Marines, Airman, Coasties, Guardsmen, and their Families. And it doesn’t matter where your stationed. Whether it is in Vermont, California, Texas, or North Carolina, military is military and respect is universal.